A tribute to 2009

Well.... here goes the inevitable look back. While I'm not one for making New Year's Resolutions (I can barely stay focused long enough to finish a book......I couldn't possibly stick with something for an entire year!), I do like to take the end of the year to reflect. To say the least, this has been a year of changes.

When 2009 began, I had no immediate plans for change. I was attending UH, volunteering at church, living with my folks, and being a mom to my kiddos. I wouldn't say I was fulfilled or even incredibly content... but it was my life and it was NOT bad! :) However, God had some plans in the works.

On a side note: In March, I went on the trip of a lifetime to visit my sister in Milan. It was VERY difficult to leave my kids for 11 days... but the time with my sister and nephew were priceless. I never would have been able to make the trip on my own - thanks to my family who made it possible!

In April, our Children's Pastor (Joy) announced that she was leaving for another church in Kansas. I was approached about the interim position as Director of Children's Ministry. This was NOT originally on my radar screen of career paths to take! LOL I knew God was calling me into ministry but I had been working on the Creative Planning Team and really enjoyed that area - so I was sure God would call me into something along those lines... However, at the same time that I learned of this opportunity at my church, I was approached by 2 other churches about similar positions (outside of Houston). God made it abundantly clear that this is what I am supposed to be doing RIGHT NOW. I prayerfully accepted the interim position here. I had never worked in full time ministry and I decided the interim position in my church home would be a great place to learn. And BOY! Was/is there a LOT to learn!!

We jumped right in this summer - with 2 VBS's, our big annual block party, a new KidStuf set and direction, and directing camp with about 500 people! It was a little busy! (To say the least!)

At the same time... things with Brian and I... well - I don't even know the words... I must say that we almost didn't make it back together. We reached the point that we had to either make it happen - or walk away forever. I prayed and prayed and prayed - and had everyone else praying! And by the middle of camp week we had decided to give it another go! (You can read more about that in one of the posts below) On August 8th we got engaged and six weeks later we got married! At the end of September we moved into our apartment and so far have lived happily ever after ;)

To sum up the year... God picked me up and put me on the path He wanted. My educational goals changed, my career plan changed, my living arrangments drastically changed, I started working full time, and I married THE MAN OF MY DREAMS. I have gone from having a "heart of stone" who RARELY, if ever, cried (and would not even consider marriage)...to being a head over heels in love [mushy] woman. And I love it. There is something about being exactly where God wants you and following HIS Plan that makes everything - every part of every day... even the messy - amazingly beautiful. I cry at the drop of a hat. Out of sadness AND happiness. All it takes is a brief glance at God's work in my life this year and I'm a fountain ;) And I don't mind the tears one bit.

No news is good news

Whew! LONG DAY! We just got home from the Pediatric Rheumatologist. We don't really have any big new news... but I'm calling that good news. They are still calling "it" reactive arthritis due to strep infection. Even though the strep is gone, she said it could last about 3 more weeks. Because this can last for about 6 weeks total they can't look past this option until we are out of that time frame. IF - but this won't happen - IF it's still a problem in 3-4 weeks we will go back and revisit all the possibilities. In the meantime he has more of the same - rest, relaxation, and now stretching - with an added muscle relaxer. The pain he feels is not causing any damage - it's just an unfortunate effect. Most of the pain is actually coming from muscles and tendons (she thinks) so the muscle relaxers should help. They also might knock him out... but we will see. The only immediate concern is rheumatic fever. It hasn't been completely ruled out and it is very likely that he could still get it - IF we aren't proactive. But we are! SO he will get 1 shot every 28 days for the next 6 months. Not fun - but not bad considering the alternative...

We got one piece of really good news and that is about his sed rate... We knew it was higher Monday at 52 than when this started [at 49]... however, we learned that when he was tested in the ER it was 77! No wonder the child couldn't walk! SOOOOOOOO 52 is MUCH lower than 77 which shows this could be on it's way out. We also learned that his ASO titer was 1600 in the ER. A normal healthy child has an ASO of about 300. This is the number that indicates the presence of strep...or something like that... and is how they know he had strep for quite some time.

Bottom line... continue treating as reactive arthritis. Take the muscle relaxers to help with pain (along with the Naproxen) and wait a couple of weeks. I choose to believe this is the answer and he will be completely healed soon.

When you don't know what to say... sing

Singing Over Me by Kari Jobe

When I waited so long. When my tears were my song.
With my hope nearly gone. You held me, God.

To believe in the face of the dry, weary place,
when You felt far away, You held me, God.

Oh, there is freedom in surrender. Oh, I know it.
Your songs have never stopped. You've been singing, always singing over me.
Your words are still enough. And Your singing, Always singing over me.

The chaos in the cause... teaching me to see, Lord, the beauty in the storm.
So I believe when I see through Your eyes, through the testing of time
Every cloud silver-lined 'cause You're with me.

Your songs have never stopped. You've been singing, always singing over me.
Your words are still enough. And Your singing, Always singing over me.

You give me faith. You give me strength enough to wait. To stand in faith and listen for, listen for Your melody.
*************************************************************************************

My heart continues to break for those families dealing with severe illnesses. I honestly don't know how they do it. I keep thinking of our friends who lost their daughter a year and a half ago. She was 6 1/2. She first got sick when she was 2.

We are so blessed. Our problems really are so small. Hug your babies and thank God for their health.

Don't know what to ask for...

Today, I'm praying. But I'm not sure what to pray for... The Pediatrician called and asked to see Christopher right away. He wanted to check his heart for a murmur, perform and ECG, and do another chest x-ray. He had been working with the Rheumatologist (which moved our appointment up to THIS FRIDAY) and they were concerned that Christopher could possibly have rheumatic fever. I had this rush of emotion as I headed to Christopher's school... glad there might be an answer soon - but not sure that rheumatic fever is the answer we want.

While the doctor was listening to Chris' heart - I found myself praying but I didn't know what to ask for. I want an answer...with an answer comes a solution... but Rheumatic Fever can have great complications and does not just "go away." However, I think it might be better than rheumatoid arthritis or lupus. SOOOO - Maybe it would be good if that is the answer. I was (and still am) at a loss. I just sort of sat there praying with no words. I think this may be the new normal for a while for me.

The initial results for today are all normal. No murmur, no enlargement on the x-ray, and ECG was normal. These are all GOOD results! There is still a cloud, though, of not knowing. The doctor said to sit tight until Friday. The Rheumatologist will have more insight, more tests, and hopefully new medicine for Christopher.

I don't know how to "rate" this day. Another emotional roller coaster with some good news: see above, and some bad news: his increased sed rate from yesterday and news that his ASO test indicates that he may have had strep for quite some time...

As for praying and the future... I don't know what to say. I pray for healing, comfort, and answers...whatever those answers might be. I'm thankful for a God who knows... even when I don't. And who has answers to the questions and petitions I don't even know to ask.

The waiting game

Back to the doctor today. Another strep test and updated blood work. We should have the results for most of it tomorrow but the strep culture will take a couple of days. I'm most interested in his sed rate as it can be evidence that he is improving. Praying for a lower number this time!

For the most part he is the same. Joint pain that migrates. Sometimes its constant and sometimes it only hurts when he uses the joint. The pain moves around his body from day to day and at times he still gets to the point where it's very difficult to walk. SO thankful for Brian who has carried him some. And we have learned that I CAN carry my 13 year old, 102 pound, son room to room and even up and down stairs when necessary! LOL

We had one pain FREE day this weekend! Saturday Chris woke up symptom free :) and spent the entire day with no pain. It was a great relief for him and we are very thankful for the time to breathe.

The doctor has pulled back on Christopher's school schedule and released him now to half days of school only. We will alternate mornings and afternoons every other day so he can hit his different classes. I asked the doctor if there was anything stronger that they could put him on for the pain... I suggested, "What about the medicine they put in his IV? That took the pain away. Can we get some of that?" He just laughed. He said, "Oh no! That's not something you can administer. I'd be shocked if he felt anything on that medicine."

So THAT'S why he felt so good after the ER visit! After we get the blood results tomorrow his Pediatrician will consult with the Rheumatologist and hopefully get his appointment (January 20) moved up or some ideas to relieve the inflammation.

More updates will follow when we have more information.

I don't remember praying for patience recently.................

Counting the blessings of our reality

Christopher laughed today at the name of our blog. He pointed out that right now reality is not better than our dreams. I beg to differ.

Tonight my children lay sleeping in their own beds under many blankets. We spent the evening together in our warm home. Our apartment has plenty of space, and more than enough of the "stuff" that we need. We watched a Christmas movie as a family- a mom, a dad, 2 brothers, and a sister - with no fighting, no resistance, nothing but joy. We even munched on [not so great] ;) homemade cookies.

When it was cold this morning - I turned on our heater. When Chris woke up - I gave him the medicine - which we were able to purchase without worry (thanks to our insurance and thanks to giving parents who picked up half of it!) - to help him get better. When he began to worry I picked up the phone and called the doctor who is working closely with us to make him well. I didn't have to catch a bus to take him to the emergency room where he would see a new doctor for the umpteenth time like so many mom's did today. I don't have to wonder how we will afford any new medicine down the road. We both have jobs. We both have working vehicles. We both have great families, friends, and a supportive church community.

The answers they've given us so far have been better than so many other families have received just this week. There is no cancer. There is no cause for concern in his bones. He remains fever free.

My heart goes out to all of the families who wonder tonight how many days they have left with their little ones. How many of those days will be pleasant? How many will be filled with procedures and sickness?

Our reality is so much more than I could ask for. I rest tonight in these blessings beyond what I could dream for myself. I do pray for my Christopher and, of course, I do NOT want him to be in pain. At the same time, I thank God for the good news we have received, and I claim victory in what is to come.

The road to recovery must have a S-L-O-W speed limit

I'm trying not to bombard Facebook anymore with these constant updates... so I will try to post everything here. If you are that interested in the status you can subscribe to this blog to receive e-mail alerts when I update.

We were hoping the pain was a thing of the past... Chris has felt pretty good since about Saturday morning. He has been on prescription Naproxen since Wednesday, November 25th and until 2 days ago they kept the inflammation/pain at bay. He began antibiotics Saturday morning, the 28th, so we expected him to begin feeling better - even without the Naproxen - by Monday. The plan was to take him off of the Naproxen by Wednesday or today. He returned to school Tuesday but came home with an achy knee. By the end of school yesterday he could barely walk and by late afternoon he couldn't put much weight on his left leg at all. I thought all of this returned pain was just a result of being up and around all day at school but this morning he woke up in pain :( His shoulders are hurting badly again as well as his ankles. He even asked to go to the doctor. I kept him home from school but even resting and medicine hasn't relieved the pain. I called and his pediatrician said that we should go ahead with the Rheumatologist referral. We had canceled this appointment because of the strep diagnosis but with things progressing the WRONG way - he thinks its necessary to get their opinion.

I have left a message with that clinic - we'll see if they ever call back! :P Either way, the Pediatrician said he will put in a call tomorrow to expedite the appointment. Last I heard their first available was mid-late January.

Road to Recovery

We are in the home stretch, I pray. Christopher started back to school today... he was very nervous! The doctor gave him a note to sit out for athletics - which is good because his ankles were bothering him this morning. He called a few minutes ago to tell me he was headed home and he mentioned his knew was hurting :/ I'm sure it's just because he has been resting so much - it will take his body a bit to get back into the swing of things.

The doctor called this morning and confirmed that his bone scan was normal! YAY!! Here are a couple of pictures of him before/during the scan (sorry for the blurriness!) He is under the sheet on the elevated bed that is moving into the circle.




He did great with the whole procedure! I am so proud of him! I don't think I have ever prayed as hard as I did during that scan. I wanted to be on my knees... but I didn't want to freak out the technicians in the room! LOL OR Chris! He had no idea what they were looking for - I didn't want to scare him. After they told us it looked good I couldn't stop crying. I guess holding in the worry for so long and the relief of knowing they didn't see anything... it just released into tears. Chris was a little confused why I was crying so I finally told him that they were looking for cancer (among other things) and I had been so worried. He then understood my emotion! We had a good day together... killing time while he was radioactive gave us time to hang out! :)

The doctor explained to me this morning that the strep didn't infect/attack/settle in his joints (which is what I originally thought) but that his body was reacting to the strep... and in a way it was attacking itself in the joints. When the strep is gone the body should repair itself and stop attacking itself. We will stop the anti-inflammatories in a couple of days to see how he is doing. If the pain goes away and stays away we don't even need to follow up with the rheumatologist! Please continue to pray for him as he recovers!

Last night before dinner Chris said the prayer... He thanked God for the clear scan and the road to recovery. I know that in a few days/weeks we will be thanking Him for complete healing!