Don't know what to ask for...

Today, I'm praying. But I'm not sure what to pray for... The Pediatrician called and asked to see Christopher right away. He wanted to check his heart for a murmur, perform and ECG, and do another chest x-ray. He had been working with the Rheumatologist (which moved our appointment up to THIS FRIDAY) and they were concerned that Christopher could possibly have rheumatic fever. I had this rush of emotion as I headed to Christopher's school... glad there might be an answer soon - but not sure that rheumatic fever is the answer we want.

While the doctor was listening to Chris' heart - I found myself praying but I didn't know what to ask for. I want an answer...with an answer comes a solution... but Rheumatic Fever can have great complications and does not just "go away." However, I think it might be better than rheumatoid arthritis or lupus. SOOOO - Maybe it would be good if that is the answer. I was (and still am) at a loss. I just sort of sat there praying with no words. I think this may be the new normal for a while for me.

The initial results for today are all normal. No murmur, no enlargement on the x-ray, and ECG was normal. These are all GOOD results! There is still a cloud, though, of not knowing. The doctor said to sit tight until Friday. The Rheumatologist will have more insight, more tests, and hopefully new medicine for Christopher.

I don't know how to "rate" this day. Another emotional roller coaster with some good news: see above, and some bad news: his increased sed rate from yesterday and news that his ASO test indicates that he may have had strep for quite some time...

As for praying and the future... I don't know what to say. I pray for healing, comfort, and answers...whatever those answers might be. I'm thankful for a God who knows... even when I don't. And who has answers to the questions and petitions I don't even know to ask.